TOXIC LOVE...

“So what plans now?, A good job, decent salary, promising career, a long distance relationship with someone whom you love. What now?”, I was stargazing and nothing seemed important to me that time. “I don’t know, maybe nothing, I guess it’s back to square one”, I looked at her and she looked confused. There was silence between us, nothing except the sea shore and those gentle waves slowly caressing our feet. I closed my eyes, there seemed darkness all around me.

When I was a kid, all I dreamt of was money. I dreamt nothing except money. Years passed by and I went to college. Probably the biggest fear that time in my mind was ‘Unemployment’, What if I am not able to get placed in any of the good companies. Peer pressure and this loving society can be weird at times and difficult to handle. Specially for a teenager who was from a middle class family and saw his parents struggle. Years passed by and soon i was staring at college placements. I knew i was never good at technical things so i always knew that i won’t be going in technical field, a big factor was the packages offered as well. Non-technical domain was a territory not yet explored by my turbulent mind. I decided to try my luck in non-technical profile. Facing rejections after rejections, i was beginning to realise that probably my horrors are coming true. But yes, just like any other story, even mine had a few good moments. One such moment was finally getting placed. When i started my college journey, i had dreams of working in a good company with a decent package, little did i know that 4 years down the line and i will be compromising on my dreams. A normal job offer now was enough to bring a sigh of relief to my crumbling world. So, finally i was about to end my college life with a job and yes, my very first serious relationship! So yeah finally i did manage to woo a corporate company with my average communication skills, poker face and a girl with my below average personality and really bad sense of humour. This part of my life was surely “HAPPINESS”. It was my time to fall in love with 2 of the most unpredictable things, job and relationship. I was taking the road which i never travelled before.

An average guy like me who craved for love and attention all his life goes crazy when he gets both the things at the same time. I was falling in love deeply and madly with my job as well as my lady. Both were quite similar to each other, both were “UNPREDICTABLE”, and yes both wanted me to understand the situation. I never knew i could work dilligently and meet my targets regularly, i was able to earn more than what my counterparts were earning now and i was living my dream of aquiring a hefty amount of money. However, everything comes with a price and money is no different. Excess of anything is bad, sometimes all you think is what if this wouldn’t have happened. That constant stress and that unpredictable nature of every thing.

Sometimes, i feel as if when was the last time i saw a sunset standing in my balcony with a cup of hot coffee. When was the last time i wrote something, when was the last time i went out with my friends. When was the last time i lived my life on my own terms. Fortunate are those people who fall in love with anything, i was fortunate because i fell in love not only with my job but also with someone special of my life. However, love can be toxic too at times.

That one person, whom you love a lot but can’t have for your whole life. That one job which makes you rich but then again you can’t have it for your whole life. We often mistakenly misinterpret life lessons for love. Not everything in your life is meant to stay, not everything happens in the way you have planned. Not every person whom you love can be with you when you are crying. Yes, they can give you life lessons, they can give you memories, they can make you strong and they can actually evolve you in a better person. The biggest question is... is this pain and stress worth everything? Is this love which turned toxic worth your time? The answer is...

“If it made you smile and helped you in feeling special in a positive way then yes it is worth everything”, Don’t expect anything in return because expectations hurt when they are not met. Be brave enough to let go of things when they are nearing their end. Yes, no one can replace anyone but then again, that’s their beauty. Every dark road, will scare you for the initial few minutes but then after some time, that darkness will be the only source which will give you solace. The brightest of lights were found only after darkest of journeys... One must experience the toxicity of love in order to understand the essense of life and people.

She held my hand, there was a drop of tear trickling down her cheeks. Probably she was trying to hold back her tears. “So is it the end of everything?”, i was staring at the silent sea blankly, but now there was a smile on my face. “Not really, i will be coming back once i have fixed my career and inner demons, if you can wait till then”, i didn’t look at her because i knew she would never approve of this. There was silence between us. Probably both of us were trying to consume this night in our memories, with a hope that this incomplete story would be completed some day.

“I’ll wait for you, and thanks for making me realise that even toxic love can be beautiful...”, :)

NIGHT...

                                                                                    BY-

                                                                                       ADARSH SINHA

“So, what’s so special about this night?” I looked above in the sky. A bright moon along with shining stars. “I don’t know how to define this night but there is something about this time which soothes me” she looked at me with a blank face. “You come here often, don’t you?” there was silence in between us. A gentle breeze blowing across, which seemed to caress her hair and touched her face. “Sometimes, when I am perplexed and unhappy” she looked at me with her enquiring eyes. “Do you still remember those days?” a smile swept across my face.

                                       There has been a lot written and said about night by a lot of people. My kinship with this night and its world began when I found no one standing by my side. The time when my inner demons seemed to overpower me. I had no one to talk to or go to. When this whole world wandered in their dreams in the lap of sleep, I stared blankly at the night sky. Laying down on the bed of darkness under the blanket of stars, I talked to the moon. Some dreams, some aspirations and a lot of memories flooded my mind. There were a lot of questions which demanded answers, but the people who could answer them were nowhere around me.

                                    This night and its calmness, which soothed me when I was being tormented by my inner demons. It taught me that even in darkness, you can find that light. It might not be too strong but it will surely show you that direction, walking along which you will get through this darkness. It taught me that it’s fine if people leave you when you need them the most. Everyone has their side of story and we must know that side as well before jumping to any conclusion. It taught me to forgive people because that’s important to heal our inner soul.

                                    This darkness which seems scary to a lot of people tells a story of its own. It tells us that even those people and situations whom we assume dangerous can teach us the best lessons of our life. The only thing is, are we willing to give them a chance? This night and its own dark world which has its own stories. Stories which are unheard, our stories and our struggle. This night has seen a lot. It has seen my tears, those moments where we made promises to each other. It has also seen the end of me in your life. It’s true, this night has seen a lot of my life.

                   I might never be able to tell how important this night is for me. All I can say is, this darkness defines me and along with its stars and that bright moon, it shaped me…

                         “Do you still love me?” she said with her voice trying to fight her tears. “I just want to thank you because it’s you who introduced me to this night.” There was a long silence between us. None of us said anything because maybe there was nothing left. “Take care and be happy” her words echoed in my ears as I woke up from my dream.

        

                                 “Take care and be happy, wherever you are”, a drop of tear trickled down my left eye as I sat under the blanket of stars and looked at the moon. This magical night and its amazing world…  

               

WORDS LEFT UNSAID...

           

There was a time, I saw dreams with my eyes wide open. There was a time, when I was a kid and there were less complications and expectations we had from each other. We meet a lot of people in our entire life. However, not everyone stays in our life in the same manner. I ponder everyday about this. We used to fight with each other when we were kids. We fight today too, but after each heated argument I start feeling scared. When we were kids, our fights would get resolved within minutes or hours. Today, it takes days or even weeks to get it resolved. The reason or the culprit is our petty EGO!!! Our inability to forgive people and move on. We are a generation which is being driven by social media. In a world where we start getting offended if people don’t reply back to our every message. Is that what we call kinship? Do you remember those petty fights you had with your close ones? There was no need to solve them because we knew how to forgive.
                                 But today, we are not ready to understand anything. The only thing which bothers us is, “how can that person behave like that to me?” Jumping to conclusions without knowing anything. We start forming an image of that person in our mind. The irony is… that same image was clean a few years back but today it has been tarnished. Yes, I had a dream that someday I will be sitting somewhere with my group of people. There were quite a few images in my dream but today, a few images have been blurred out.
                   “I AM SORRY”, these words have the power to save any relationship. It seems so much easy but little do we know that it takes a lot of courage to apologize. It’s fine if you are offering your apology even if the mistake is not yours. If you love someone then being with that person is all that matters. I believe in the power of love, people may not understand their mistakes today but they will eventually. It’s very easy to get angry at someone and venting out your frustration.
                      But, it takes courage to do its opposite. It takes courage to be that greater person who is ready to forgive. We often judge people without knowing their situation. If there’s darkness all around and you are walking with your loved ones, will you leave them if they stumble? Or will you be willing to hold on to them? Our ego is just like that darkness and you are the only one who knows the correct path. What you do in that situation defines you and your love. One day, all of this darkness will go away. People will overpower their ego if you are willing to hold on to them. One day, everything will fall into place. One day…

                          “I am sorry”, in a few minutes his phone beeped again. “It is fine, I am not angry with you and I am sorry too” 


                                         BY-
                                               ADARSH SINHA       

प्रश्न

क्या हूँ मैं इस नश्वर जग में,
चर प्राणी, बस मूक खड़ा
कुछ दिन हैं रवि को प्राप्त हुए
कुछ मुझे, कुछ तुम्हें, कुछ इस जीवन को
क्या गान करेगी कोयल फिर,
देख सर्व मृतप्राय हुए
क्या रह जाएगा सब कुछ यूँ ही
नीरव, यूँ निश्वास पड़ा?
क्या हूँ मैं इस नश्वर जग में,
चर प्राणी, बस मूक खड़ा ।

होगा जब वो चंद्र-क्षय,
चंद दिवस नहीं, शाश्वतता को
क्या सह पाएगा भार कोई,
असीम सिन्धु के क्रन्दन का
क्या कह सकेगा तब वसन्त,
पुलकित, निर्दोष, नव-कुसुमों को?
होगा सब कुछ मिट्टी का,
मिट्टी होकर मिट्टी की भेंट चढ़ा
क्या हूँ मैं इस नश्वर जग में,
चर प्राणी, बस मूक खड़ा ।

उषा, क्या तुम तब भी,
वधू-सज्जा कर प्रतिदिन आओगी?
न होगी जब कोई आँख बची,
अपलक, करती तुम्हारी प्रतीक्षा,
क्या रख पाओगी तुम मन में,
निज-श्रृंगार, अलंकार की इच्छा?
तब रजनी क्या तुम प्रायः आकर,
तारों को नभ में छिटकाकर
उस पार मुझे बहलाओगी?
क्या होगा तब भी अनादि ब्रम्हाण्ड में,
आविर्भाव, अंत की ओर बढ़ा?
क्या हूँ मैं इस नश्वर जग में,
चर प्राणी, बस मूक खड़ा ।

हो जाएगा इतिहास सभी,
शायद फिर जाना भी न जाएगा
होकर सब कुछ मात्र छवि
मेरे साथ ही शून्य हो जाएगा
प्रेम कहो, या कोलाहल
वह था, ज्ञात किसे हो पाएगा?
न जाने परिवर्तन-विधान में,
जीवन फिर कब आहट करता आएगा?
क्या उन शेष क्षणों को मानव में,
लेश मानवता का रह जाएगा
कहकर मृत्यु को तथ्य, यह ज्ञानी
उसे सप्रेम ग्रहण कर पाएगा?
कैसे हो सकेगा मुक्त,
बन निज-बंधक, यूँ मूढ़ अड़ा
क्या हूँ मैं इस नश्वर जग में,
चर प्राणी, बस मूक खड़ा ।



नश्वर = transitory
चर = moving
प्राणी = organism
मूक = silent
रवि = The sun
सर्व = all
नीरव = monotonous
निश्वास = breathless
च्रंद-क्षय = The reduction in moon's size
चंद = some
दिवस = days
शाश्वतता = eternity
असीम = unending
सिन्धु = ocean
क्रन्दन = cry
पुलकित = happy
निर्दोष = innocent
कुसुम = flower
भेंट = offering
उषा = morning
वधू-सज्जा = bridal ornamentation
प्रतीक्षा = wait
निज = personal
श्रृंगार, अलंकार = embellishment
रजनी = night
नभ = sky
अनादि = unending
ब्रह्माण्ड = universe
आविर्भाव = birth
इतिहास = history
मात्र = only
छवि = reflection, memory
शून्य = zero, nothing
कोलाहल = chaos
ज्ञात = known
परिवतर्न-विधान = The law of change
शेष = left
क्षण = moment
लेश = fragment
तथ्य = fact
ज्ञानी = wise
ग्रहण = accept
निज-बंधक = self-restrainer
मूढ़ = stupid

नज़रिया

आओ,
मेरी कलम के लिखे लफ़्जों को ज़रा महसूस करके भी देखो
पिरोया जिन जज़्बातों को मैंने कविता के हार में,
उन्हें मोतियों से ज़रा और ज़िंदा मानकर भी देखो
देखो,
किस नज़ाकत से बटोर लिया मैंने अश्कों को
और घोलकर स्याही में, काग़ज़ पर करीने से बिखेर दिया
जो कुछ फी़का पड़ गया रंग स्याही का,
तो काग़ज़ को रूसवा मानकर भी देखो..
समझो, न समझो तुम मेरी दिवानगी इस रात के लिए
मेरे कहने से एक बार इसे कुछ गुफ़्तगू करने देकर भी देखो
कुछ कहो, कुछ सुनो,
कुछ खुद में शामिल होने देकर भी देखो
है हयात यह भीनी रंज़िश मेरे वास्ते,
तुम इसमें एक लम्हा तो गुज़ार कर देखो
कहती है दुनिया शायर मुझे,
आओ,
मुझे एक दफ़ा औरों सा भी मानकर देखो..

विरोधाभास

काल्पनिकता और वास्तविकता, एक कवि के विडंबना-पूर्ण जीवन की सर्वथा विपरीत, परन्तु सर्वाधिक महत्त्वपूर्ण इकाईयां हैं। एक पल में कवि अपनी वास्तविकता के धरातल से कहीं ऊपर पहुँच किसी मोहक काल्पनिक आकाश में पेंचे लड़ाने लगता है, पर तभी कोई क्षितिज से ठठाकर हँस पड़ता है - "चाहे कितना ही विस्तृत हो ये आकाश, है तो मिथ्या ही!"....और कवि लौट आता है वास्तविकता के धरातल पर, अपनी आहत मनोदशा को शब्दों में उतारने, और शब्दों को बांधते-बांधते फिर से क्षणभंगुर काल्पनिकता को अपने विचारों का अमृत पिलाने।

कवित्व का अभिशाप, और हः! ऐसा उपहास!

कवि भी क्या करे? यह संसार भले ही उसे क्षुब्धः कर देता हो, पर है तो वहीं, उसकी नज़रों के आगे बिखरा पड़ा यर्थाथ! सत्य भले ही हलाहल हाथ में ले स्वागत को खड़ा हो, उससे विमुख होना संभव नहीं है। परन्तु मिथ्या में वह लोच नहीं! मिथ्या पूर्ण नहीं है, पूर्ण मान लेने का सुख है। कवि के लिए मिथ्या अमृत नहीं, संजीवनी है.....

और जो कवि होकर रह लिया, उसका अमृत से क्या प्रयोजन?
परन्तु है तो वह कवि ही, भौतिक ही, मानव ही....

वह काल्पनिकता, यह वास्तविकता, हे ईश्वर, यह कैसी मृग-मरीचिका है जिसकी चिर तृष्णा तूने मुझे दी है?

कवि और कविता

मुझसे एक बार किसी ने पूछा, "क्या कविता लिखकर तुम्हारे चित्त को शाँति मिलती है? अगर नहीं मिलती, तो कविता लिखते क्यों हो?"

भौतिकता की सत्ता के उस पराधीन को कौन समझाए कि चित्त की शाँति के लिए कवि क्रन्दन नहीं करता। उसकी कविता ही उसका क्रन्दन है। उसके तप्त हृदय की उष्णता उसके अश्रुओं को आँखों से ढलकने नहीं देती, अपितु उसकी पीड़ा को शब्दों में ढालकर काग़ज़ पर बिखेर देती है। अगर कविता में उसने कहा है कि उषा लाल साड़ी पहनकर मोहिनी लगती है, तो वह इसलिए क्योंकि उषा से पहले उसने विभावरी को तारों के दीप जलाकर प्रियतम की वेदना से चीत्कार कर धरा को बूँद-बूँद भिगोते भी देखा है। कविता बंजर में खड़ा कोई हरित वृक्ष नहीं है, जिसका आधार ले कवि अपनी व्याकुलता को विराम दे सके। कविता वह मूर्ति है, जिसे कवि ने अपने अप्रकट विचारों की मृदा और अप्रत्यक्ष अश्रुओं को मिलाकर आकार दिया है, अपने दग्ध हृदय की ज्वाला में तपाया है, और अपनी व्यथा के आलिंगन से उसमें प्राण फूँक दिए हैं....उसे देखकर वह शाँति नहीं, केवल व्यथा का अनुभव कर सकता है।

जिस दिन मेरी कविता के शब्द-शब्द में समाहित व्यंग्य और वेदना को यह संसार एक साथ समझ लेगा, उस दिन कदाचित मैं कहूँगा कि मेरा कवि होना व्यर्थ न गया। पर वह असम्भव है, मिथ्या है! संसार के लिए मैं कवि हूँ, और मेरे प्रत्यक्ष रूप की सीमा का अतिक्रमण कर अप्रत्यक्ष से परिचित होना, मेरे विचारों की सूक्ष्मता और वृहद्ता का मंथन करना, संसार की भौतिकता और क्षणभंगुरता के बस की बात नहीं... मैं कवि हूँ, और मेरी वेदना का गान करने की शक्ति केवल मेरी कविता में है...

LOVE...

                                                                                 BY-
                                                                                   ADARSH SINHA

                             

“What is the most beautiful feeling in this world?” I closed my eyes for a second and thought about it… ”it is love”. She seemed puzzled, her eyes had the same innocence and cuteness. Adjusting her spectacles she asked, “what if that feeling and that person goes away”, I closed my eyes and a flood of memories gushed in.

                      A lot has been said and written about love and its meaning by a lot of people. It may be trust, care, attachment or just that person. That feeling cannot be described in words, everything looks serene and beautiful. “LOVE”, these 4 letters are probably the most beautiful letters and its effect lasts till eternity. Love can be anything and anyone, a child smiling or our parents sacrificing their happiness for us. Just watching them smile makes us forget our worries and problems. That smile, that innocence, that bond, above all, those memories which are given to us by our special someone…

                              I wish people could understand that loving someone doesn’t always mean that you have to be with that person for all your life. Every relationship has its life and time, once that time gets over that relation gets over as well. There is nothing right or wrong in this, it’s true that there is a void which is developed once our loved ones go away and this depresses us. A lot of people go through this and in order to get back that person start doing insane things. If “our special someone” comes back again, we start putting restrictions on them because we fear that he or she will leave us again. We proudly say that we love each other however we fail to understand that it’s not love but our fear. If you love someone then set them free because putting them in a prison would simply mean that you don’t believe that you will be loved by that person. Love gives us memories and moments, which remain with us and make sure that we carry that smile on our face. It protects us even if that person is not with us in our life, that’s the reason we seek blessings because they protect us from adversities. Such is the power of love and care.

                                               We do have memories and moments, through which we can meet them again and again. Someone has rightly said, “if you like a flower you pluck that and keep it with yourself, but if you love that flower you make sure that it remains safe and nourish it.” I wish people could understand the meaning of love, it’s not about forcing someone to be with you. It’s about being there for that person and ensuring their safety. Maybe this is the reason, the most selfless and pure form of love is of our parents for us. If you still think that you love your special someone truly, then ask this question to yourself again. If that person leaves you, will you be willing to ensure the safety of that person? Or will you be willing to set them free from your restrictions?

                                           Our society and our generation never fails to amaze me. We claim that we love truly, but we put them under restrictions and spy on them. Fights, arguments take the center stage and our so called “true love” vanishes in thin air. After a few months, the relationship status changes to “single” and then all we care about is how to take revenge from our “SPECIAL SOMEONE”. Once their smile gave us satisfaction, now all we care about is their tears. After a few months or even days, we claim that we love someone and this time its “TRUE LOVE”, and the cycle keeps on repeating itself. It’s ridiculous because these self- proclaimed “true lovers”, are the only ones who curse love and defame this beautiful feeling.

                                        So keep yourself safe from these “TRUE LOVERS”, of our society and listen to your heart. Live in present and make memories with your loved ones now, don’t think too much about the future. Whatever begins has to end someday, relationships also follow this. So make beautiful memories and don’t put your loved ones under your restrictions. Please trust your love and their love as well, and you will realize eventually that why love is the most beautiful feeling in the world. In the end, when that person will go away from your life, you will have a lot of happy memories. They will be the reason of your smile, and that love will protect you from everything. Such is the power of true love…

                

                                I looked at her, there was a drop of tear which trickled down her left eye. “You loved someone, didn’t you?” I smiled at her and all I could say was… “Yes, truly”J.  

IT AIN'T A FAIRYTALE...

                                         By-
                                           Vaishnavi M.R

I see myself how I've been in last few years
And, I can't breathe remembering it
The pain I held in my heart since these years
I can't even say to anyone over here
I get drunk with sadness and pain
I feel like untouchable without love


It ain't a Fairytale
It ain't a Movie
For me to trust blindfoldedly

Heartbreaks, tears, dreadful past
Oh, I just can't get over it
People talk behind you
And it makes you feel bad
And, I can't live
It is not simple
It ain't easy
But I gotta face

It ain't a Fairytale
It ain't a Movie
For me to trust blindfoldedly

I feel so heavy with my broken heart
It's never gonna be the same
I say myself you are brave enough to face it
But as time passes, I give up
And, I can't change my mind
It haunts me every night and I can't live

It ain't a Fairytale
It ain't a Movie
For me to heal quickly

People come to hurt me and go away
And I'm left broke inside
But I don't show it off
Cuz something happens when everybody knows it
And, I've got enough of it
But I'm not gonna admit it as my mistake
Cuz I was honest, loving and caring
And, I can't live without my true soul
No, I can't


It ain't a Fairytale
It ain't a Movie
For me to heal quickly

टीस

अक्सर ही कुछ लिखते-लिखते उसे अधूरा छोड़ देने की आदत है मुझे..कुछ क्या, काफ़ी कुछ है जिसे मैं कहना नहीं चाहता, और बिना कहे घुटकर रह जाना भी नहीं चाहता । उस अनकहे का बोझ मन में लिए कुछ लिख दूँ, तो मेरी कलम मुझे कोसेगी । दिन के शोर और रात के सन्नाटे के बीच जो मुझे बिना किसी बोझ के ठिठका देता है, वही मेरा लम्हा है । और उस लम्हे में हर सिमटे-छुपे दर्द को कागज़ पर उतार देना मेरा काम..काम ही कहूँगा, पेशा नहीं ।
मैं अपने लम्हे में लिखता हूँ..कभी लिखते हुए मुस्कुरा भी देता हूँ, कभी कागज़ को अमीबे की शक्ल में भिगा भी देता हूँ । जैसे दिन की हलचल में कोई खनकती हँसी कानों में गूँज-सी जाती है, वैसे ही यादें एकबारगी मन में छुपन-छुपाई खेलते हुए पकड़ी जाती हैं । फिर वो जो आँसू आँखों से छलकते-छलकते रह जाता है, उसे पता होता है, कि दर्द किसे कहते हैं..

अगर सुबह का सूरज देखकर मैं लिखने बैठूँ और मेरा हाथ कलम पकड़े हुए रूक जाए, तो वजह है कि उस कागज़ का कोरापन मुझे अपना-सा लगता है । तब स्याही से उसपर ऐसे निशान छोड़ने का मन नहीं करता, जो मिटाए न जा सकें । भले ही समंदर के पार एक इन्द्रधनुषी दुनिया बसती होगी, पर उसके और मेरे बीच में उस बोझ का फ़ासला है । या फिर यूँ है कि समंदर की तन्हाई मुझे ज्यादा पसंद है । इस तन्हाई में कुछ सुकून नहीं देता, तो कुछ मुझे झकझोर भी नहीं देता । कुछ भी न सही, तो मेरा लम्हा मयस्सर है मुझे यहाँ । हाँ, वक्त-बेवक्त वो बोझ मेरे लम्हे में घुल आता है, मेरी कलम थम जाती है, पर मेरी ख़ामोशी का वज़न मेरे लफ़्ज़ों से ज्यादा हो, तो ही अच्छा है । जो लिख रहा हूँ वो अधूरा रह जाए, इसी में भलाई है..

'न पूछो मुझसे क्या कहती है मेरी शायरी,
वो रंज़ है मेरा जिसका तुम लुत्फ़ उठा रहे हो..'

शिकवा-ए-हक

गम़गीन क्यों रहें हम?
हमारा ख़्वाब क्या था, एक तारा ही तो था..
टूटना ही था, टूट गया।
तुम्हें खुशी है दुआ कुबूल हुई तुम्हारी,
काश़ कि इत्तला होती,
जिस तारे की कुर्बानी ने बख़्शी ये इनायत,
वो तारा, वो ख़्वाब, हमारा ही तो था।
यही तो एक रंज़ है कि घड़ियाँ रूकी नहीं,
काश़ कि रूक जातीं, तो जी भरकर निहार लेते तुम्हें।
न जाने इतनी-सी तमन्ना तुम्हें,
नागवार क्यों गुज़र गयी..
खै़र, तुमसे क्या शिकवा,
यहाँ जो भी था हमारे हक़ का,
वो सब, वो सब तुम्हारा ही तो था।
अब तो सब लुट गया, पर हाँ,
'सब' मिल गया है..
क्योंकि तुम, बस तुम रह गए हो।
जो वक्त-बेवक्त इस बेरंग ज़मीं पर,
होली इश़्क की खेल जाते हो।
काश़ गौर फ़रमाते,
होली का वो लाल रंग,
वो रंग, वो खून, हमारा ही तो था।
सोचते हैं कि रेत होता ये दिल हमारा,
हर याद की तुम्हारी याद भी,
वक्त के तूफ़ाँ में मिटा जाती..
बहुत देर हो गई राह में तुम्हारी,
ये दिल पत्थर हो गया अब।
ख़रोंच भी लग जाए,
तो ताउम्र निशाँ मिटा न सकोगे..
पर अब फ़िक्र नहीं, कोई गिला नहीं,
क्योंकि जिसने दिए ये ज़ख्म सभी,
वो हर कुछ, हर कुछ तुम्हारा ही तो था।
कभी याद कर लेना हमें ढलती शामों में,
शायद सुबह हमारी ज़रा उजली हो जाएगी।
या बस अपने होठों से,
नाम हमारा पढ़ लेना..
कभी पलटकर देखना,
कौन झुका है सजदे में,
या अक्सर हमारे किस्सों में,
ज़िक्र अपना सुन लेना..
जब भी अंधेरा होगा राहों में तुम्हारी,
हम दिल जला कर भी रौशनी करेंगे।
बस तुम तकल्लुफ़ न करना इस बात पर,
कि वो अक़्स, वो अक़्स हमारा ही तो था..

Late

What do you think I'm?
A weakness or a strength of yours?
Can you define me?
If you can, why haven't you done that yet?
Oh of course, you must be waiting for the right time then.
When would that come? Do you have any idea?
I'm strong,
I can't be someone's weakness.
If I'm, I feel guilty.
It pinches me inside.
Now don't you feel ashamed, of making me feel guilty because of you?
Oh of course, you must be waiting for me to become your strength somehow,
like I became your weakness.
Without me knowing it.
But dear old friend,
I'm sorry.
I can't become your strength.
Because you don't want me to.
I can see you, trying to get 'power' from your usual 'sources',
but you also know you can break like a match.
I wouldn't help you in this.
You've  limited me, my possession over you,
by calling me your weakness.
And that hurts.

I wish you could see what poison you've injected into your weakness.
Don't worry, it'll soon be destroyed.
Then you might feel strong. 

Unanswered

Two souls, love two different souls 

yet they long to hold each other's hand. 

They love each other, but it's of some different kind, 

they say. 

Or it's a mix of all, they don't know.. 

"What is it like to love each other this way? ", 

others wonder. 

But the souls seem lost,

in a world that describes the other. 

" What is it like to cherish love this way? ", 

others wonder. 

But the souls seem lost, 

in a mind that wanders around the other. 

He looks into her eyes, and she reciprocates. 

" We know what it is like. ", 

the eyes murmur softly. 

" But do you know why? "

And seeking each other everywhere, the souls seek the answer.

PHOTOGRAPH...

                                                                        BY-
                                                                          ADARSH SINHA

Looking at your cute and pretty face again,

which brings back a thousand memories again,

your never ending questions and our arguments,

still standing at the same crossroads and aisles,

with a weak smile on my face i am looking at you,

memories and stories is all i have now with me,

this photograph which is my most prized possession,

secretly hoping to meet you again on this journey,

trying to turn back the time to relive that moment,

still carrying your innocence and love within me,

staring at you blankly with just a curious question,

do you still have the other half of this photograph?

with a feeling of content and satisfaction in my eyes,

thanks a lot for giving me so many beautiful moments,

through which you will be etched in my mind forever,

this photograph which tells me a thousand tales of us... 

Trial

Hey, the one fighting too hard,

I know, and I understand what you must be feeling like, trust me. You might think you're the only one to be bestowed upon a shower of adversities, but that's not the case, not yet, sweetheart.

Are you reckoning the idea of running away to some place where nobody knows even a piece of you? Because you think that would help bring you peace? I know, because I do, too.
But we both know the option is barely achievable. So, what now?
Do you also question the righteousness of your actions, every time you take a peek in the room of your sabotaged wishes? How does it go?
Have you started to picture yourself as a non-existent entity yet? A 'ghost' in the crowd of many, so many detached people, passing by and through you, and not caring to stop and look back. Have you, yet? Oh, I did but it didn't help much. Neither with the escaping nor with the staying. What if you end up the same as well? What then?


Stop whatever you're doing and sit down. Have a glass of water if you want to. Close your eyes, calm your breath, and think.

You wish everything becomes 'right' and 'normal' one fine day, but has that happened yet?You think escaping is the rescue but wouldn't that bring guilt along? Can you get down that much and deal with it? The thought of your crushed wishes angers you, but isn't there anything left to hold onto, to not let go? Isn't there anything such, really?


It's not gonna get 'happily ever after' in the blink of an eye, my friend. It never has. Your failure thrives upon your fear and incapability of choosing to try. Do choose to try, at least. Even for the nth time. Unless you do, you would never know which could have been the last, you would assume one to be the last. Try while you still can, while you have all your senses and strength intact, while you still have time. Nothing has waited for you this long and nothing will. Try until you do not 'sweat'. Try until no matter how tiny, but every single possibility is exhausted. Try until death comes knocking at your door. So when it asks you if you're ready, you can say yes, looking it in the eye.

Now, resume your work.

SOME BROKEN RELATIONS...

It was the month of December, I was standing in my balcony sipping coffee.The winter fog hung quietly in the calm darkness. I closed my eyes and a lot of people gushed in through the flood of my memories. The people with whom I had forged a bond at some point of time in my life. Now the only thing left with me are the broken pieces of our relations..

                                                    Surprisingly people come into our lives and go away suddenly without giving any explanation. Our world has become really practical where there is no room for emotional attachments. In today’s world, people fake relations for selfish gains. However some fools fall into the trap of emotional attachment and that’s when the chaos begins. Every relationship starts with two individuals getting to know each other and accepting them as they are. Every relationship has its life and it gradually dies its death as the end approaches. People may not understand this but every relation which dies an early death has some serious effects on either of the two individuals.

                            Our modern day relationships are just like that, they start over a few messages exchanged through any social networking site. They blossom through late night chats and then suddenly one day the connection gets lost.

 The reason can be traced into the medium on which they tried to sustain it.  Every broken relationship leaves behind some questions which are unanswered, some emotions which are painful and a lot of memories. Memories, the reminiscent of the bond. The most common advice which people give after every broken relationship is, “move on and forget”, though that may not be exactly true. One cannot get over memories and those beautiful moments. We strive to bury them somewhere in the backside of our mind but they show their presence sometime or the other. The best thing probably would be to smile at the memories. We cannot control situations but we can control or try to control the way in which we react to them. There is a very thin line in between pessimism and optimism and most people fail to identify it.

                                   This world might be selfish and a few people might be opportunistic and maybe that’s why some relationships break.a We can sit and cry, stop meeting new people and trust them or we can do the exact opposite. What we choose to do defines if we have actually moved on from that broken relationship or not. If there are devils, there are angels as well and not every relation is destined to end on a happy note. The important part is, that person or that relationship brought a smile on your face and that’s what matters. We can either hate that person or forgive that person, but healing starts only when we forgive that person. When you forgive that person you become that bigger person and that’s important for your own mental peace and calmness.

                Every person gives us something in the form of moments and memories and then goes away from our life. Parting ways is never easy but that is inevitable and we can do nothing about it. Every such relationship gives us that opportunity in which either we can get depressed or collect its moments and forgive that person because of those happy memories. The final choice will always be ours and the option we choose will define us and our greatness. The only thing which matters is, what we do with those broken relationships…

                          I smiled after looking at the gallery of my phone and while sliding down those old conversations. It was still cold outside but it seemed pleasant now. That night I relived all those beautiful moments and memories which was given to me by some broken relations…J   

बस

घड़ियाँ गिन-गिन कर दिन गुज़ार लूँ,
ये हैसियत अब मेरी नहीं है
रातों को भी चौंधियाते इस आसमान में
तारे ढूँढकर मुस्कुरा लूँ,
इतनी शिद्दत अब मुझमें नहीं है
मेरे बिखरे टुकड़ों को समेट पाना,
अब इस शहर के बस की नहीं है ।
कड़वा कर चुकी हैं मुझे,
यहाँ की काली परछाइयाँ
और ज़हर हो जाऊँ,
ऐसी ख़्वाहिश अब मेरी नहीं है
बहुतेरी इमारतों की यहाँ,
दीवारें सिल गई हैं
और सिल गई हैं,
शहरवालों की रूहें
इन सबको धूप दिखाऊँ
ऐसी रहमदिली अब मुझमें नहीं है
बंजारा ही भला था मैं
भीड़ देखकर ठिठक जाऊँ,
ऐसी आदत अब मेरी नहीं है
मुझे एक पल को भी लुभा जाना,
अब इस शहर के बस की नहीं है ।

तो क्या होगा?

मुझको खोकर मैं चला,
जग को हँसी पिलाने ।
जो कोई रोककर मुझे,
पूछ बैठा मेरी तारीफ़ तो क्या होगा ?
अपने हर एक जख़्म को,
छोड़ा यूँ ही खुला मैंने
वक्त ही तो एक दवा है ।
पर कहीं अगर,
वक्त को न मिला वक्त तो क्या होगा ?
क्या इश्क है, क्या मोहब्बत
सब झोंक डाला सीने की आतिश में,
कभी सफ़र में कोई
इश्कदार दीवाना मिल गया तो क्या होगा ?
'मंज़िल' पर आने से पहले,
गया हर मंज़िल पर मैं
और अब इस पूरी दुनिया में कहीं,
मेरी तन्हाई को भी न मिला ठिकाना तो क्या होगा ?
आज घेरे है मुझे एक आग,
कल राख़ बच जाएगी
एक यही है डर लगा कि
उड़ते हुए हवा में ये राख़,
कर बैठी कोई शक्ल अख्तियार तो क्या होगा ?

MEMORIES...

                          BY-
                            ADARSH SINHA

People may come and go away,
But they leave behind memories,
Memories which have their presence,
Through which we can meet them again,

Reminding us of their aura,
That bond of love we shared,
Those golden moments we lived once,
Nothing seems more beautiful than this,

Standing amidst deep darkness,
Memories show us a path of hope,
Reminding us that we are not alone,
Motivating us not to stop ever,

We may lose our dear ones,
Their memories make them immortal...

कुरबत-ए-सिफ़र-5

1. अजब है मौसम इश्क का भी,
    ठिठुरते को ठंड मिली और प्यासे को बरसात नहीं..

2. क्यों हर सह़र पूछता है ज़माना मेरा मिज़ाज?
    रातों में मैंने ही अपने आँसू पोंछे हैं..

3. काश़ कि तुझ पर ख़त्म हो ये सफ़र आख़िरी हो जाए
    न हो तू मयस्सर,
   तो ये सह़र आख़िरी हो जाए
   काश़ कि रूक जाए,
   धड़कन भी, कलम भी
   और ये गज़ल आख़िरी हो जाए..

4. मेरी जिंदगी हुई एक गीला कागज़,
    कोई लिख न सके, जला भी न सके..